Regret
There’s a saying “You only regret the things you didn’t do” That’s not totally true, coz I’ve been starting to regret also the things I do. Leaving me afraid of doing things and regretting that I didn’t do anything.
There’s another saying.. “Don’t regret anything” I guess that would help me more. Ok, so I didn’t talk to the guy yesterday that I thought was cute, I’ll try not to regret it, if he was an important person in my life I guess I’ll see him again. And if I don’t then I should be glad I didn’t waste my time with him… But is it really that easy? Can I go through life relying on that fate will bring about the special moments or those special people. I noticed something this spring, that if I act, even though it’s terrifying or emabarrassing and my pride is att steak, life likes to play with me again. Or rather that I like to play with life.. and that everything can be transformed into an opportunity and acting even when acting stupidly makes me feel so much more alive.. And I always fall into theese small traps where I think I’m above it all, and already learned that lesson, where instead of maybe acting differently I don’t act at all..
He was dancing with another girl, but we had made eyecontact long before that, and I sensed we had some kind of bond. First I was annoyed that guys are so easy and that they switch to whoever is after them closest at hands, then I saw that we still had contact. I gave him a flirtatious smile and he saught contact with me another time, it could be that he was just looking for confrimation, maybe both from me and the other girl. He didn’t take her home, they never made out and I suspect the interest where mostly from her side. He could be an idiot, but he could also be a very nice guy. He could have been looking for confirmation, but it could have been that we actually had contact and that we would have been eachothers’ first choice if anyone of us had stepped up and talked to the other. And now I’ll never know.. Unless fate steps in and I meet him again that is.
Coward as I am, I’m regretting the things I didn’t do, but trying not to regret anything and rely upon fate, that she gives me another chance with those special someones or somethings and try to remember until next time. To act, and not to regret.